Question Answers

Dear Sheila,
Why do i keep attracting painful relationships? Every guy i date ends up hurting me. There may be a reason for this repeated pattern. When will I meet the right guy? How do I keep the painful relationships away. and Why me??

Anuradha( name changed)

Hi Anuradha,
Im in the process of writing your answer. Meanwhile Id suggest you read the post on toxic relationships and the school of life.
There may be a few answers there.
My reply will then make more sense to you.

Love and Light,
Sheila Bajaj

www.sheilabajaj.com


Hi Anu,

When we go through painful relationships, and get hurt we have bruises within us that need to heal..
I simply compare that to being at a level 3 and taking an elevator to a lower level.
now after this pain u get into one more painful experience and go few floors lower.
After going througha series of painful friendships and relationships you are probably at level -3 or -5.

When your at a low level of existence you will attract lower vibrations..
When you are not yet healed you are sending pain vibes and thats the reason your attracting more pain into your life.

The key to break this pattern is to let the old wounds heal..
You are carrying baggage and triggers from the past that arent allowing you to attract abundance joy and love.
Once you are healed, thats what you will radiate and thats what you will attract.

What really happens is slowly the healing takes you from -5 to level 12. And thats where the right man will be waiting for you.
because deep down you are a level 12..

Healing can be achived through several techniques..
Reiki, Pranayama, meditation, Pranic Healing, and Imvussa Meditation.
These are just some techniques from the many avaialble..

I wish you love and happiness.

Love and Light
Sheila Bajaj.

For others who would like to post their questions, this section is not for taror or psychic reading.
This is a wisdom column, where I meditate on the question and post the answer.

The School of Life

What is the School of Life??

Through the numerous enquiries of life and the intricacies of relationships or life's struggles, iv questioned the model that the universe uses.
There must be a guideline as to why we struggle, why we face difficulties and why we go through the pain threshold of the same thing happening over and over again.

So I question all of this, and the answers take me back to school.
I call it now the school of life.

It now seems like everything that we did in school has a repetition in the real world.
The school system has everything that real life has.
Concepts of learning lessons, difficult people, relationships, karma and even the times when we feel that all the turmoil hits at the same time.

I compare everyday behaviour and conduct in school to karma in the real world.
Our actions and thoughts add up to our karmic account..
That concept of good deeds and good conduct was a part of how we behaved. Good behavior in school was rewarded and bad behavior was punished.
We know from that, our deeds and actions count.

Our struggles, challenges and our turmoil periods are like tests and exams.
We were tested in school to check if we were ready for the next lesson, next term or next class.
If we flunked we had to redo not just the exams but the attendance, projects, class work and homework.
Similarly, if we haven't learnt our lessons from the bitter experience, IT REPEATS.
So if you have been through a grind, stop think and introspect. What have you learnt.
Once we do that. Its passed.
We are ready and strong enough to move to a higher level.
The next grade.
Similarly life's lessons only get more profound.
They chisel us. It brings out the best in us.
Exams were never meant to scare us away, and yes struggles were never meant for us to fear it and stagnate.
Exams and struggles both happened so that we face it and grow.
Learn our lessons well, pass and maybe even excel at it.
So if an experience keeps repeating. Life is telling you, you haven't learnt your lesson.

Our board exams are the big crisis. Like divorces, loosing a job, a relationship breaking. Its a big exam to take you to the next level of consciousness.
So face it with courage.
The real world will take you through your levels at your own pace.
So the people at low levels of consciousness remain there. They are in level 1
Or like LKG. The difficulty level remains nil forever. Yes, its the good people who struggle.
Its good news. Your higher. Your growing.
Thank your turmoil.

Lastly our trouble areas in school is that one difficult subject.
Like math or chemistry.

Isn't that where the real grind is?
The weak areas are hit.
The tutions, the revisions, the repeated effort or focus is to strengthen the weak areas.
When there is force applied and a struggle through that one area. Remember, the school of life is strengthening your weak area.
Like a weak muscle.
Most workouts for the weak area.
To build on it.
Pump more weights.

To sum it up. Our life is a replica of what we went through in school.
We think its just important to get through the exam, or the struggle that we go through- NO.
Its a bit of everything. If we just pass exams and haven't had good behaviour or conduct or karma. We can even get thrown out of school.
Or, if our behavior has been great, and we miss a main exam. Our conduct is reviewed and reevaluated. A second chance is given.
So our karma is as important as our deeds and us merely living life or passing the tests.
How we live life matters.
All our lessons and stages are taken from school to prepare us for the real world.

I thank my school and my teachers who took me through that learning and that process. It gives me the wisdom to live life as ease today.

Love and Light
Sheila Bajaj

QUESTION and ANSWERS

Iv decided to add this as a new part of my Blog. Post your questions. Get wisdom. This is not a prediction section.

Dear Sheila Maam,
Iv been through a Bad marriage. I feel very scared blocked and averse to commitment or relationships. Marriage is out of the question.
Please throw some light on this.
Rana

Hi Rana,
When a person goes through a bad marriage his softest side gets bruised and beaten. when that happens, we've really allowed hurt pain and heavy emotions into our heart. Its a bruise which hasn't healed.
We stop to act and start to react. We don't come from pure love. We come from fear.
We are blocked to true love. The moment someone showers love , the reaction will be to run far away. Love can be scary.
This is because there is a fear of getting hurt again. Of loosing that love again.
That's why we run away from what we want most.
The soul needs to heal from old wounds.
When you are just out of a relationship, you tend to live in rebellion and in your complete comfort zone.
Allow yourself to heal.
After that, dig deep and look within.
Are you really scared of commitment or marriage??
Or is that What you WANT MOST??
The person you will fear is the person you know can love you. But the bruised soul loves to chase.
To inflict more pain on oneself.

So if you see this pattern , STOP.
Heal and introspect.
Then allow your heart to come from love. Not fear. To act from love, not react from the painful past.

I hope this helps.
Love and Light,
Sheila Bajaj

TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS- Soul mates and Twin souls

Toxic relationships
What are toxic relationships??

There are some relationships that give us more pain than happiness. These relationships are not built on the foundation of love, acceptance and the other virtues. These toxic relationships are draining and addictive.
They are so difficult to let go. The dependency factor in these relationships are very high.
The relationship or the person acts as a parasite.
The hunger and the void never gets filled.
These relationships lack laughter, they lack joy and fulfillment.
They don't enrich the soul, they deplete it.
A relationship should never be a struggle.
A toxic relationship is struggle from day 1.
It ends with chords that are too painful to cut.
These bonds cause turmoil and don't even get the support of the gods and angels. Parental support in these relationships is minimal and closest friends will be the loudest signs and voices screaming at you to stay away from the other.

Toxic relationships are easy to recognize, they make us feeling helpless, reciprocation imbalance always exists.
Men and women get into these relationships with a person who has very less regard or love for them.
It is a mere attraction that brought both close.
The best thing to do if you realize that you are in one of these relationships is to stop right there and think.
Break cut or burn the chord.
Be in power and don't wait for your toxic partner to dump you because that is most likely to happen around the corner.
When you take a call yourself, the pain is a lot less.

A blessed relationship doesn't need as much effort.
Love is about loving without playing the games.
Love is about knowing you will be safe and protected.
As ordinary as it is a twin soul relationship will see you through your lows and highs.
Accept every ridiculous bone in you and understand you through all the changes you go through.
The bond between twin souls is so sacred and healing.
It allows us and grants us the gift of freedom. The freedom to be and to exist. Our twin soul allows us to grow, nourishes our roots and makes us grow.
Feeds our confidence and is that breath of fresh air.
He or she can make you laugh on the gloomiest days.
You can spend hours talking to them or sit in silence for hours and not say a thing.
Feel each others heartbeat while listening to an intense song.

Or just be random and talk random.
Twin souls are supportive, loving, affectionate and honest. They are living angels and continue being the best emotional anchors forever.
They make the best partners and a marriage with your twin soul can be your dream come alive.
I know 5 couples who married their twin soul.

Love????evil or divine

Love is patient love is kind.
Iv heard about love from so many sources so many experiences and so many scriptures.
Is love really that beautiful.
So much hurt in the name of love.
So many hearts broken in the name of love.
Love is that one driving force which makes people go against each other. Makes kids hate their parents.
Makes man and women have the worst battle fought outside a battlefield.
So how can this love be divine if it has the power to hurt people?
How can it be sacred if it can bring out the worst in us?

I look at this beautiful emotion and search deeper.
 Why is love so dual?. On one hand it can make a dead man alive and give him reason to live and on the other hand it can destroy the person or make them crazy or destructive.
Its like power. Like petrol. Like fuel.
It could be productive or destructive.
So how does love happen? How do we explain our connection to some instantly and our disconnection with some we've lived with our whole life.
Love is a force, an energy. Its a vibration that each one of us have and emit. We vibrate with this love energy and when we find this energy being one with another vibration we connect. This connection can be so fulfilling. The feeling of oneness is so blissful. Even if ur miles apart you can feel the strong wave of its subtleness hit your solar plexus and make your very existence alive and your solar plexus churn.
 As beings of love when we connect with the other side of our energy or our other half we vibrate with harmony. We r in perfect balance- ying and yang. This love is divine. Very rarely do we come across the same frequency. When the frequency is right everything else will be upside down. Why?
The journey of the soul is to find our frequencies work through this path through the ups and downs and see if the love remains. To see if the love is strong enough to go through all the trials of life.
The ultimate purpose of the soul is to unite with its other half. And the journey of life can be made beautiful in that quest or painful in the loss.
Because love is a vibration from the inner dimensions of our consciousness it can oftenly give us pain. We may hold on to it inspite of the pain. The connection of love is from the root. like the roots of the tree. And then it permeates on the physical mental and emotional.
Dig deeper. Connect and never let a soul connection pass you by.


www.sheilabajaj.com

The Real Love

Love is patient, love is kind, these are words about love from the bible.
The kind of love that can move you to tears when its felt. The love from god the love from our angels.
Can human beings love like that?
Our human world is a feeling world.
Love is simple but in the human world its all complicated.
There are stages.
First its the phase of feelings and attraction.
Where everything about the person we love, is so perfect. Every habit every virtue every kiss every gesture. Everything is appreciated.
This is highest phase of all.
 Whatever love or affection is given is perceived as wow.
I call it the wow phase.
This wow phase is very short. Some people are capable of pulling it longer. The most love is percieved at this phase. Because everything is wow. It is percieved as real or true love. So the experience is heightened.
When the wow phase is ending, the second phase starts. The beginning of real love.
The phase when both people get emotionally close. This is also combined with the wow phase. But this phase is short and also nice. At the end of this phase the trouble starts.
The egos take over or the test of love is presented by the universe.
The fights or disagreements have begun by now.
Both argue fight and disagree. The passion is getting lost. Feelings go out the window and the pain begins.
Both people disagree or fight about stuff.
This creates a divide or the couple may be able to live with the differences.
This is the test of true love.
Love is not about the feelings. Its not about the first few months. Love is about when the fights start. Can both people accept each other as is??
Can both understand each other???
Can there be complete freedom of expression and who we are???
Can there be compatibility???
Can the love hold all of the crap. Can one still hold on to the love and accept.
To me, acceptance is pure love.
Can we allow the othr to be who they are in their most self expressed form.
Can we grant people to be who they are??
Can we love them for the ups and the downs and have the courage to say it??

Love is acceptance.it is accepting the good bad and ugly. When this fight phase starts the fights and resentment starts. The same wow person becomes the person who gives the most pain. This is the test of love. If a couple passes this phase they usually accept anything that comes by. Their bond gets strong. Usually people who r in a relationship based on feelings end here.
Its a test for endurance and strength.

 

Sheila Bajaj

 

 

Numbness

Sometimes life is so chaotic and yet so silent. This is not a good silence I'm talking about. I'm taking about numbness.
Sometimes we go thrrough so much pain we turn numb.
Pain can be so continous, u feel it again and again and again more and more and it doesn't stop. And at one point we reach the end of pain. We are empty. And numb.
Numb should be good. Since its the end of the pain path. but numbness can't be good, its the beginning of a no feeling state of being.
All our life we feel and feel and feel. And then we hurt and hurt. And at the end of the hurt path we reach numbness. We seize to feel. We start living on auto pilot. My favorite word. Its so easy to snap into autopilot. The mind and heart and body doesn't wanna feel pain. So it goes numb and dead. And we just function and live life everyday.like machines. We exist. But we have no life. What a pathetic place to be in.
Does being numb prevent us from getting hurt. Is that numbness good? The phase where we seize to feel. Feel anything. Feel love feel joy feel alive.
Numbness can't be good. We all turn numb, but being numb or hard doesn't make us happy. We stop living in the experience if live. We forget what happiness and feeling is. We stop experiencing love. We don't connect to god we don't connect to ourselves and we dry up. It feels like the soul is dead.
What makes the soul so alive. What makes us happy and drives us crazy.
Its love.
Love has the potwer to transform something dead and give it life. Give it feeling once again. Make it breathe. Give it a purpose. Give it hope. Give it a meaning.
How many of us gave up. And dried up. And then came love, pure love. And it changed our soul and our reality.
Transformed the consciousness of that being. Connected us back to the source. To the consciousness. Could this love be an awakened state of existence.
I look at this love as being divine. Its only divine energy that can transform something dead into life.
Love has that power.
Then what makes that same love convert the joy into pain. Does love have the power to create pain too??
Yes it does. Love is always attached to an expectation. A fear. When love is attached to fear it creates an expectation.
This creates pain.
Pain is born from fear.
Fear is consuming and frightening. The fear of loosing love. And that creates another swirl of pain and then we walk the path of agony and wounds. The pain that stems from pure love and then fear is the worst of the kind. Its worse than the pain of not having at all.
but fear needs to be removed. There is no right answer of how fear of loosing can be removed. Fear is like poison. It consumes us and kills the happiness love gives us. Fear is like a deadly virus. Once fear is transformed into faith. We can feel love again. And even if there is pain or shades of hurt, it feeds the soul. It makes us wanna live the journey, not fear the outcome.

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