Marriage

The union of two souls. When two become one. The vow to be with each other for lifetimes. The vows taken around the sacred fire, Marriage.
What has marriage turned into from what it is idealised to be?
Why was marriage created?

I dwell in these questions each day as I grapple with clients who come by the dozens with their deep dark secrets and share their scandalous stories.
From the series of flings to a friend with fringe benefits or the mysterious father to their child. Iv heard it all.
The love triangles and quadrangles don't surprise me anymore.

My job demands me to be objective.
But I sit in the face of this social issue which is contaminating society and ask. Why is this happening.
Marriage was created for some reason, but why is it being breached?
I also have a whole lot of expat clientele and firangs from out of the country who regularly consult with me on the phone, but the extramarital relationship culture isn't as much with them. Why?
We always felt the west was spoiling our morale and didn't have a very good value system or culture.
How come our ex Marital rel stories are more scandalous than theirs.
Something to ask ourselves.

Our culture survives on the Mask theory. Pretend, wear ur mask and judge others who falter.
Everyone is cheating and no one wants to admit it.
Its bad to get divorced or leave ur spouse when the marriage is dead- because of society, but its somehow ok to cheat.
Which is why people slip. They are too afraid to face the societies remarks and family pressure and hence choose to live dual lives. There is too much at stake to be yourself or walk out of a troubled relationship.

Whatever happened to the sanctity of marriage?
Where did we loose it all.
In the midst of rituals, a culture rich in values, we started pretending so much that we have now merged with the mask we wear and are frightened to live our truth.
When there is no room for truth, lies and deception is the only path to take.

Maybe the reasons we get into a marriage, must be relooked at. People marry at a certain age just because that's the right thing to do that that age, have kids coz that's what we all do.
Awareness of why we r doing it and what we want out of marriage. select a companion and friend for life with understandfing acceptance, truth, trust and compatibility is better than blindly looking at family back ground caste and religion.

Stay true to ur self and ur truth. Don't marry for the wrong reasons. And if u have, invest in the relationship to make it work. If its causing too much pain, build the courage to walk out. Don't worry about the kids who will miss out on one parent.
Atleast they get the best of both happy parents even though apart.

The most important message is to live your truth.

SOME MORE ON MARRIAGE

Why were marriages created? … Somewhere between the primitive man and our great-great-grandfather, marriages were created to protect women and children. Why??? I don’t know! How can it possibly protect them? It may have been created to give families a structure, and to ensure fidelity in relationships. Norms and rules were put into place to create harmony. The same marriage is now the main cause for disharmony. Have we changed? Has the institution become too old for us? Do we really need protection? Or do we get trapped in the name of security and protection??? If marriages were meant to protect and give security, why is everyone hoping to get out of it?
We give way too much importance to the social validation of marriage. A signed contract; a registered commitment, and after that a sanctioned or registered separation called divorce. Why does divorce have to be on paper? Isn’t an emotional divorce bad enough? Why do we wait to be divorced in court? If you really see, most of us are divorced. How many husbands and wives are only living an arrangement? Living a lie? Then aren’t those legally divorced better off?
Why don’t marriages last forever? Were they meant to last forever? Was the magic and bonding supposed to last forever? How do we know what God wants us to do and what God’s will is? Maybe his focus is to teach us our lessons…these experiences teach us virtues like love, acceptance, compatibility, trust, giving and more giving. But we fail to see what he is teaching us. Every relationship has a life span like the relationship between a parent and an infant. Once the infant grows up, the dynamics change and when it becomes an adult, it changes again. That’s how marriages are; that’s its nature. Firstly, they are created by us. Secondly, they exist for a purpose. That’s it. After which it's over. Most people say that it lasts for the survival of the species. But maybe it’s there to teach us aloneness. Maybe to teach us that we came alone and we will go alone. Maybe two people create disharmony over long periods of time. Nothing is forever. Only plastic is forever.